Thoughts on Community

[tamidon.livejournal.com]

and how it applies to Baitcon

Now keep in mind, this has nothing to do with JB or anyone else running Baitcon, but I've been thinking

have you thought about what Baitcon is?

It's a giant party thrown by a group of people organized by one very friendly man, JB
Personally I think 'bait is often too nice for his own good. Let's face it, he throws this massive party every year, spending huge amounts of time and his own money to do so. I guess alot of us are a little nuts too,helping him out.

now here's the question:...How do you think of Baitcon?
Is it a community experience for you? Or is it something you paid for and expect to get served for? Did you honestly try to help out? Or did you offer just once,no one needed help,and let it go at that? or did you just wander thru enjoying the party?

Do you talk to the people who are working as members of your community? Or are they the staff of this event you go to? No matter how you think of them, how did you talk to them? Did you demand that your issues be taken care of? Or did you ask for help like you would if you were in someone's home?

I know you think your specific issues are incredibly important... and to you they are. To me, it's another thing I need to think of, and I'm really trying, but do you think it's really reasonable to ask me to drop everything I'm doing to take care of you? Do you really need to see me stop everything I'm doing to address your problem, even if it's in the middle of other, complicated, stuff I'm doing? This happens a lot. I'm sorry if I can't make every person happy with every item we have, but let me break it down for you, at least in terms of food: we have vegans, vegetarians and Kosher. We have people allergic to wheat, soy, milk/dairy, berries, nightshades, wine/vinegar, shellfish, onions, garlic, cilantro, nuts, and many more. We can't make each meal cover every one, it's just not possible with the money and people we have.

There are many other issues,these are the ones I usually deal with. Trust me, other things from electricity to cabins to kid stuff, are also being dealt with as best as possible.

Do you need to interrogate the staff on each item on the table? Even if there is an ingredient card? Do you need face time that much? Are you so sensitive that any contamination would kill you? Is waiting for me to finish what I'm doing before doing something specially for you really a medical emergency? Balance your trust with your sensitivity. If it'll kill you, we'll be extra careful,but take some responsibility for your health too.

Interestingly enough, the people with the biggest issues, disabilities, etc...are often the ones with the most patience and cope.

I suggest everyone read 5 Geek Social fallacies. Seriously. When your problem doesn't seem to be taken care of as promptly as you would wish,think about it. Do you think no one is trying or cares? Give us some credit.

This is just some ponderings I've been having. Here's some thoughts: remember to volunteer...your kids too, they can bring dishes to the sink or something ...try to remember everyone is trying to get things done...have a good time, but not at someone else's expense.


The majority of people have, when told I'm not going to be there this year, worried about the food. Very few said they'ld miss me there this year for reasons other than my cooking. Those that did are mainly those on BCC who have the most reason to miss my cooking skills. I have to admit, I'm a little annoyed. It's why I started thinking about this.

Let me leave with this:

If we're a community, remember to act like it.

Comments

[dhs.livejournal.com]

*hug*

I don't know what is keeping you from Baitcon this year. I hope that it is simply a time conflict rather than any of the issues you mention above.

[donnad.livejournal.com]

As someone who works their backside off at Baitcon, getting up insanely early to help with breakfast, cleaning up after meals, cooking 16 loaves of bread for breakfast and making many different and edible ice cream flavors, I want to Thank You for saying this.

I will miss you and the kids this year, and not because you cook. Okay, well maybe sort of because you cook... I like working in the kitchen with you, we work well together and have fun. And your kids make yummy peanut butter ice cream!

[kimberlogic.livejournal.com]

A few of us talked about this today. Next year, please just do whatever flavors/sorbets you want to do. You've made breads and such for years, which has been lovely, but clearly is a big stress for you.
We'll do fine without them next year and perhaps you'll enjoy things more.

Thank you again for the loan of the PA system - that was great!

[donnad.livejournal.com]

The truth is, I started doing the breads so I would know there was something I could eat for breakfast. Since I can't keep food privately, I figured I would make enough to be able to share. But if you don't want them anymore, that's fine.

[wotw]

Bravo.

We'll miss you. We'll miss your food, but we'll miss you too.

[deguspice.livejournal.com]

Ditto.

I'm not good at cooking for lots of people, so I'll stay out of the kitchen.

But I can wash dishes, refill the lemonade, ... whatever needs manual labor.

[maedbh7.livejournal.com]

As an event organizer in my own right, a certain amount of your frustration just comes with the territory. Some people will always be demanding ("I have a hangnail, and -you- forgot the official Baitcon nailclippers. What is -wrong- with you?". Wank Wank Wank.) It comes with the job.

So, I ask you the inverse question: what's in it for you? And by that I don't mean what's in Baitcon for you. I mean...why do you ever do any event organizing at anything?

Because in the end, you simply cannot make every person suddenly grok CLUE. You can, however, know yourself, know your motivations, and adjust your commitment, donation, and expectations accordingly.

That alone, imo, will bring you peace about how other people chose to behave at this event you seem you would prefer to be at, if the logistics made sense. -H...

[danaeris.livejournal.com]

Well said. This is a struggle I often have -- I work hard at the volunteer work I do, and then get frustrated or even angry or bitter with people for a variety of reasons similar to tamidon's.

This year will be my first Baitcon. I've always been highly impressed at the strong service/volunteer ethic present in the Boston geek and poly communities. Perhaps it was naive of me to think that volunteer-run events didn't have the problems that frustrate me so in Toronto. But I have to admit that I'm dismayed to hear that Baitcon is having similar issues.

I guess I'll have to make a point of helping out and thanking volunteers when I get there!

[tamidon.livejournal.com]

actually, a big part of my point is that this is not a con this is a private party and I wish folks would remember that. We are not having similar problems to a con in Toronto because this is not a con.

Also.loads of folks volunteer...I just feel everyone should pitch in

[danaeris.livejournal.com]

I actually wasn't comparing Baitcon to the con in Toronto -- you're putting words in my mouth. I'm well aware that Baitcon is a private party. And I've never volunteered at the con in Toronto (except to run a workshop).

My experience in observing the Boston community is that regardless of what the event is -- be it a private party, a grass roots event for the poly community, or a massive con like Arisia -- a lot of people seem to pitch in, often without even being asked. Also, the people who volunteer are often highly competent (a nice bonus).

[pekmez.livejournal.com]

I'll miss you! And I guess I won't be getting a chance to get to know you better by helping in the kitchen. :)

[sunspiral.livejournal.com]

You know that me and mine will miss you for you. And we're also working in the kitchen, because that's where we can help best.

[gravitrue.livejournal.com]

Oddly, I think I may have had the reactions you dislike for reasons opposite the concerns you express. At Baitcons, I don't expect to see much of you; you're working, and it's rude of me to bother you with idle conversation. As a member of the community, the best thing I can do for you is wash dishes and try to stay out of the way and not bug you. But cooking or no, it won't be the same without you there.

[cos]

I didn't know you weren't coming until this year, but I suspect that people who heard you weren't coming and mentioned missing your food efforts may have meant it as a way of communicating that they notice and appreciate your food efforts. It may be a form of thank you, and they (some of them?) might be surprised to learn that you hear it so differently.

[atricilla.livejournal.com]

Well, I was hoping to see you there, and I don't think I have eaten your food. Or not much of it; you surely brought something to the party where I met you, but I more recall our conversations that day, and had hoped to have more such. So, yes, I will miss you for non-food-related reasons.

Having never been to Baitcon, I'm not sure what to expect. I was intending to help with food prep & whatever other ways I can 'pull my load.' I also expect to have fun there, and hope to find a balance between the two.